Okay, it has occurred to me after reading so many blogs that maybe my priorities are not right. To obtain a long sought after joy, all I have to do is look in front of me. God is handing it to me on a silver platter. I have a wonderful husband who makes us all laugh, smart, beautiful children who make me laugh (sometimes--when they are not fighting). I have got to realize that no material possession is going to bring me lasting joy. That is something that only Jesus can do. I have a salvation that not everyone has the privilege of knowing. I have a kind and loving Lord, a giving and forgiving Lord. What more do I need?
I am going to cut back on my computer time, trying to narrow it down to early mornings when I am the only one awake, nap times, and after bedtime for the kids. They need more of their mother than I have been willing to give lately. I have been really stressed out and have turned to the internet or shopping to try to give me peace. There is only one thing that will give me peace--Our Lord. I have to learn that the only person I can turn to that can truly offer me the things that I need or want is God.
I have got to be a little more accepting of others, to quit being so negative and critical of others. I have got to learn to forgive and forget. I have to learn to let my children be children and enjoy it. This time will not be here forever. I have to learn to be more accepting of my husband's enjoyment of music and its mastery. I have to be a better steward of time and money. I have to learn to be better at a relationship with my Father. I have to be a better wife and mother, housekeeper. I have to think of my body as a temple of God and take better care of it. I have to exercise a little will power and perseverance.
I can do all of these things in Christ who strengthens me. I will need divine help and blessing to change. But most of all, I have to accept God's love and blessings as just that. I have to realize that life is not about making myself happy, but about the happiness of others as well. And I need to realize that I will never truly be happy without that steadfast relationship with God that I so long to have.
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