Tuesday, June 24, 2008

So Who's The Parent

Okay, so you'll have to read the Baby Daddy post to understand this is a little better. By BD had me freakin' furious last night. Now, I still have not gotten over the abandonment issues from my son's younger days. I am still infuriated about them, in fact. But in trying to be a good role model for my children, I always try to be pleasant to BD and Barbie. But all the sudden, he thinks because he sees Brother Man more than once a month now, he has the right to make decisions concerning him without consulting me. This is not a major decision, it is quite minor. But that is not the point. Bro Man's hair was getting to where it needed a trim. A trim. Not a total makeover. But Bro Man calls me last night and tells me he got his hair buzzed off. Now, let me set the stage for you. I was catching up on last week's Army Wives and squalling like a baby when the phone rang. This was the first thing I hear: "Mama, guess what? I got my hair cut." He tells me that it is cut like Mr. Wonderful's (a long buzz). Well, I stewed the whole time that he talked to Daddy and his sisters.

Then I ask him: "Who's idea was the haircut?"

Him: "Mrs. Barbie's."

Me: Who took you to get your haircut?

Him: Mrs. Barbie.

Me: Uh-huh. Well, I need to talk to BD.

So, BD tells me that Barbie was trying to surprise him by doing something nice like getting Bro Man's hair cut. Well, that pissed me off even more. It is bad enough that a sperm donor feels like he has the right to make ANY kind of decision concerning MY child, but now his girlfriend feels like she has the right to make that kind of determination.

Petty or not, Keith and I make the decisions concerning Ryan. No one else. He was my son when BD didn't want him. He was Keith's son when BD didn't want him. There are no takesy-backsies. I don't care if you claim to have changed, BD. You have not. You are still a freakin' liar. You are still all about you and what is convenient for you. And what is convenient for Barbie and Barbie's son. Here's an idea: Go marry her and the three of you can live unhappily ever after in your own little world. You've only been together like four years, so it might be time. Although, I know four years is your time limit on relationships. So better yet, kiss her farewell and go back to sneaking around dating married women and leave my son alone. You have more than enough opportunities to be a father to Bro Man and you have proven time and time again that you don't want it.

Anyway, he decides to call back last night. Not because he picked up on the not-so-hidden signals that I was mad, but because Barbie was upset. Who gives a flying flip about her? So I tell him that without drudging up things from the past that I am trying desperately to let go of, I really couldn't talk about it. I told him that a courtesy phone call would have been nice to see if it was okay with me. So he tells me that if I don't want to talk about it right then, then he doesn't expect to hear anything else about it. He says bye and hangs up. Newsflash: it has been six years since you began your abandonment of Ryan and I haven't let it go and I am not over it. I still bring it up. I will continue to bring it up as long as I am still mad about it. You do not wrong a child and then expect a mother to just forget about it. And I will continue to bring up the haircuts (yes, this has happened more than once) as many times and for as many years as I want to, jacko. Get a life and get out of ours!!

***Edit: Here's the controversial hair cut. You tell me if this is a buzz cut or not. Oh yeah!! Isn't he so very handsome?!!!


Melissa Lee said...

Okay, first of all, put that knife down and let's talk.

I'm worried about you.

I think, I could be wrong, but I think, you might be angry.

And I think, I could be wrong, but I just think - you might have good reason.

But just the same...he's a doll. With hair. Without hair. He's a doll. And that's cuz of you, mama. Cuz of you. So smile.

Just checking in on my new friend.

Melissa at Stretch Marks

Molly said...

He looks gorgeous but you are right, you should have been consulted. I would be furious if something like that happened, you have every right to be angry.

Baby Daddies suck! Mine abandoned Ned when Ned was just 9 months old, so I feel fortunate in some ways that he was just so young. Unfortunately now, he loves his dad and I can't stand him, but I have to put up with his crap for my son's sake.

At least your son has one good parent!

Staci said...

i am heart broken when i hear the word abandoned, it is an issue i just cannot hear about without feeling deep hurt. I am sorry to hear about how horrible of a father he has been in the past. I LOVE how real and raw your emotions are in this post...that is why i created "real raggin wed" cause i want people to learn how to just be themselevs and tell the truth no matter how much it hurts, then to forgive and move on,
it is your life and i would NEVER force my ideas on ya but check it out, it might help you to learn how to let go, please, if you have time read these two blogs from forever ago where God was trying to teach me about "letting go and letting God" if not no worries



Staci said...

no prob girl i am happy to do whatever i can to help.....ill be prayin.

Lane Boyz Mom said...

He is adorable, with hair or without, but I COMPLETELY know where you're coming from here...I have my own set of issues with the X and how he does things with our kids, so I can relate.