Monday, June 16, 2008

Baby Daddy

There are so many traumatic stories that I could share with you about Baby Daddy. He asked me to have an abortion when I told him I was pregnant. That just wasn't even a consideration. Brother Man and I left him when Bro Man was 1 1/2. He saw Bro Man for a couple of months regularly, but after his second birthday he disappeared for 18 months. Not a phone call, not a card, not an email, not a visit. That was okay with me. He really was not someone I wanted my child to learn anything from. In the meantime, I started dating Mr. Wonderful and he became "Daddy." Bro Man didn't need Baby Daddy. He was happy and well-adjusted in our new life. Well, Baby Daddy started feeling guilty and decided to start seeing him again. During one of our disagreements, he threatened to take Bro Man to Ohio and there was nothing I could do about it. That is when it occurred to me that it was time for a custody arrangement. Since we were not married, we had no papers drawn up. Baby Daddy eventually disappeared again. When Mr. Wonderful and I got married, he told me that he would sign over his rights. He did not want Bro Man to live with him if I died, and if Mr. Wonderful died too, Bro Man could live with my sister. When I was pregnant with my second child, the custody/child support papers were finally finalized. Baby Daddy started seeing Bro Man again because as he put it, "He had to get some people off of his back." Great reason to start seeing your son!!

Fast forward a few years and Baby Daddy has a Barbie girlfriend. You know, skinny be-otch with long blond hair. My polar opposite. Okay, she really is great. She has a child that is 2 years younger than Bro Man. She accomplished something that I could never accomplish....she got Baby Daddy to go to church. She also steadily encourages him to build a relationship with Bro Man. But instead, her son has that relationship. Anyway, Friday night Barbie calls and wants Bro Man to spend the weekend with her and her son. He would go with her to her dad's house on Saturday, spend Sunday with them, then stay with Baby Daddy on Monday. Well, Saturday night Bro Man calls crying his eyes out, blubbering about being home sick. We make arrangements to meet her halfway to get him (we live an hour apart). Baby Daddy calls back and informs us that he is on his way to Barbie's house to inform Bro Man that he will not be coming home. It was ridiculous at that time of night and in the rain for us to exchange him. Sunday (Father's Day) came and went without any word from Bro Man. I was a little insulted for Mr. Wonderful because he is the Daddy. However, Baby Daddy gained some respect points when he called yesterday evening to tell me that he tried to get Bro Man to call Mr. Wonderful but he was busy swimming. However, Barbie and Bro Man had just dropped off Barbie's son with his father, and Bro Man was homesick again and crying to come home. I called Barbie and I talked to a now blubbering Bro Man.

Bro Man: Mama, please! I love you so much. And I miss you. I just want to come home to see the girls. And you. And Dad.

Mama: Don't you want to stay and go see Kung Fu Panda tomorrow? Tonight you'll have Barbie all to yourself and have movie night.

Bro Man: I'll just watch Kung Fu Panda with you and Dad.

Mama: We're not going to watch Kung Fu Panda.

Bro Man: Then we'll just rent it when it comes out at the movie store. Please, Mama! I love you so much.

Then he gets on the phone with Mr. Wonderful. He tells Daddy that he would pick us over a movie anytime. He loves us way more than the movies. Mr. Wonderful, with tears in his eyes, tells me we have to go get Bro Man after he just said that. So we pack up the girls, blankets, cups, take Jack out to potty, and drive the hour to rescue our little homesick boy. Much to Baby Daddy's dismay, Barbie and I had a talk about Baby Daddy. It is amazing the lies that man has told to make himself look better to her. Turns out, he claims I tried to force him to sign over his rights, not that he willingly told me that on the phone. He never told her that 18 months passed where he never contacted Bro Man. I told her the reason that I don't feel like I should force Bro Man to go see him is because he has always gotten to choose when he wants to be a dad, and Bro Man is forced to play along. I reminded her that Bro Man truly is not missing out on anything by not having a relationship with Baby Daddy, because he has a Daddy. In fact, he calls Baby Daddy his step-dad and Mr. Wonderful is his real dad.

I love my sweet baby boy and my wonderful, loving husband. I can't imagine life without either one of them. I am so ready for Bro Man to wake up this morning so I can get those great morning squeezer hugs.

Sorry for the long rambling post. I just needed to write about this.

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