Remember

Remember those shirts that they used to sell in the 90s--the Butt Naked shirts. They had a butt naked troll on them doing some sort of activity. My BIL is a firefighter, and I remember him having a butt naked firefighting shirt. Well, I was brutally reminded of these shirts today when I got home from watering my sister's plants. The kids were in the backyard playing on the slip 'n slide. Keith advised me to check out the backyard. There was Kendall is all her glory. Butt naked slip 'n sliding. I soooo wish I could post a picture of it on here, but I do not want to be accused by anyone of child pornography. I also did not want to be known as one of those Alabama moms whose children run around the neighborhood buck nekkid during the summer. But it was clearly aware to me that Kendall had not a care in the world. But here we are in the house now, and while Kendall has on a pullup, Emily is still buck nekkid. I have told her seven thousand three hundred fifty four times to put on some panties and clothes, but apparently there is something liberating about running around buck nekkid. I am wondering why she adamantly refuses to put on clothes.

Other things I am wondering....

1. Why Jack just came back from one of his neighborhood romps smelling like a big pile of s**t

2. Is 6 months too old to change the name of a pet

3. When the cleaning fairy is going to arrive (is there such a thing? I need to know.)

4. Why my children only ask questions that require a "no" answer

5. If my house is now contaminated by fleas from Jack and Sophie

6. How much Keith is going to freak out when I get Jack groomed next week

7. How long the freshly cleaned carpet is going to smell clean

8. If Jack still going to use the master br as a bathroom when Keith and I move in it

9. If Ryan is ever going to stop eating or grow as a result of the amount he eats

10. If Kendall's newly formed cough is going to require a doctor's visit

11. If I am ever going to complete one of my daily to-do lists

12. If I am ever going to have the time to sew again

13. If my children will ever stay in bed the first time I put them there

14. Why our baseball team always performs to the level of the competition

15. Why Jack is laying on the air conditioner vent so it blows his filthy stink everywhere

16. How people survive summertime without air conditioning

17. Why Washington got snow yesterday and we hit 100 degrees

18. Why I live somewhere where the temperature reaches 100 degrees

19. If my children truly are the loudest children on the face of the earth

and

20. If I will ever like my hair again (have you ever tried to straighten frizzy/curly hair in Southern humidity?)