Friday, June 6, 2008

Food Nazis

This blogging is getting addictive. I can just write a complaint one big time and there it is for everyone to hear. Church is church. Isn't the point to make people want to come back? To show God's love through kind actions and words? Well, last year at VBS was my first encounter with the food nazis. Our snack one day was ice cream with oreos crushed on top. I do not eat oreos. Yes, I am American and I do not eat oreos. Hello, my name is Heather and I do not eat oreos. I do not like the disgusting left overs on peoples faces and the ugly shade of dirt left on their teeth after they eat them. Anyway, I got my ice cream cup and scraped the horridness that is the crushed cookies into the trash. Enter Food Nazi #1.

#1: What are you doing?

Me: Oh, I don't eat oreos.

#1: Well, if you didn't want oreos on your ice cream, you could have asked for ice cream without them.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize there were ice cream cups without them.

#1: I can't believe that you would do that. Those cookies took time to crush. We used our hands to crush those cookies for snack and you are scraping them in the trash.

Me: I'm sorry. I really do appreciate you taking the time to crush cookies by hand for the ice cream cups. I'll know better next time.


Now, fast forward 1 year to this years VBS. I was very cautious not to tick off FN #1. I almost made it through the week when yesterday she came to me for the very first time since the above conversation took place. She had the wrong count for the number of kids because I didn't give her a count. I am not in charge of our group. Our group leader didn't come so I didn't know anything about giving a count. No one asked me for a count. The way I see it is that she was at fault for not asking me. You can't just assume that everyone knows the way everything operates when they are filling in.

Today, I celebrate because I survived another year of VBS at this church who does things so different from my last one. Tonight we had a pool party to fellowship together. I have had a stomach virus sort of and didn't feel like going. But I relented and took my 8 and 4 year old. The youth pastor approaches me and asks if I am feeling okay because I look awfully pail. She suggests I go get myself something to drink. Enter Food Nazi #2, #1's husband. Emily and I walk to the other end of the giant pool and he is standing at the cooler.

Me: I need to get something to drink.

#2: Well, you can in five minutes when we eat.

Me (to myself): Are you freakin' kidding me???? What is it with these people and food? He is going to make me wait 5 minutes to get something to drink.

Well, apparently my facial expression spoke for me and Emily and I just walked off. #2 follows me to the end of the pool and says, "You can go ahead and get her something to drink if you want." Again: Are you kidding me???? I just sat down, about to pass out, in 95 degree weather and now I don't have to wait five minutes? I said, "It was for me. I'll just wait until time to eat." In my head I am thinking that he can take his drinks and shove them. I will wait until I get home or until the medics are called and I get IVs before I go get a drink.

91 comments:

pinkpuffysleeves said...

Okay, as I read this post, my jaw dropped and I thought precisely what you wrote. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Seriously. I would have slapped someone. Good thing you have self restraint. :)

TattooedMinivanMom said...

(No offense to church people in general)...but how come SOME church people forget what it means to be a decent and kind human being?

Congrats on being featured blogger:) Have a great day!...and get as many pre-eating drinks and oreo free ice cream cups as you want...on me.

Saundra@An Italian Mama Gone Crazy said...

I think churchy people are the worst. I would know... I attend a church FULL of churchy people!

No concept of other peoples needs whatsoever.

I feel ya
1

Columbia Lily said...

I don't think it is necessarily a church thing, I think it is a human being thing.... sucks that it happened though. =)

Tonya said...

WOW! What Church do you go too? My goodness - that is not a pleasant way to spread God's love to others is it? Umm - leaves me shaking my head. I have to pray really hard for control over my tongue alot - I'll think I'd have lost it there.

April said...

I can't believe that sort of thing happened at church where you're supposed to spread God's love!! What a shame and sorry you got the brunt of it.

Brenda Jean said...

I think it's a control thing. I'll bet both CN #1 and 2 don't do well with things out of their control. Either that or CN#1 wanted your crushed oreos for herself. BAHAHAHAHAHA

Creative Junkie said...

wow- what is up with that? VBS would be the LAST place I would expect to see that kind of behavior!

Elizabeth said...

Happy SITS Day! I can't believe these people!

Kimmie0270 said...

Some people are seriously fried. Happy Sits Day!

Yaya said...

Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds like some people have control-issues!

HeatherY said...

That's just crazy! I can't believe you don't eat oreos! lol! Okay, really those people are wacky. How can that dude refuse you a drink on a hot day and talk to you like you like a child. Crazy people.

momto1 said...

Are you kidding me? I can't beleive those people are like that. Some people just always have to do things their way.

Like pp's, I would have slapped someone! Or, wanted to, but would have more rudely and sarcasticly said "EXCUSE ME????" Then would've gone to get my water.

Congrats on being featured blogger on SITs today!

jewelstreet said...

Food Nazis are the worst! They know food is power and they have the control.

My first thought was you crushed the oreos by hand? ewww. how do I know where your hands have been or have been washed? This is what my germaphobic family has done to me.

Mandy said...

Gotta love those types!

Astrid said...

Happy SITS day!

Are you serious? Man...I'd have probably blown up at them! How obnoxious of them!

My First Kitchen said...

Not to belabor the point, but oh my goodness you don't eat Oreos?!?! I admire you. A tremendous amount. We have a separate container for ours that's larger than our containers for flour, sugar, cereal... anything. Enjoy your SITS day!

Rhea said...

Food nazi's scare me. Wow. I haven't encountered any like that before. And you know they must be super uptight about other things too.

Melissa Lester said...

I'm sorry that you were treated that way. I don't know what happened to the hospitality we should expect at church.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Why were they crushing oreos with their hands? You can buy crushed oreos. And, kind of... Ew.

And all the weird rules? You can only have drinks when we eat, etc..? What is UP with that?

Melodie said...

I seems as though those two are not so much food nazis as they are control freaks. Jeez!

ScrappinAway said...

That is a shame! Definetly not the way to show God's Amazing Love, huh? Oh well!

Cracker Scraps said...

The FN's in my life seem to think it's their place to say things like, "is that on your diet" or "do you know how many fat grams or carbs are in that!" I DO eat Oreo's and that's why there are none in the house! Happy SITS day!

TL said...

HAPPY SITS DAY!

Sounds like FN's have control issues.

Just stike it up to folks who have nothing else to worry with in their life.

For the rest of us, well, we have so much else going on that we don't have time to worry about them! :)

KC Mom said...

Hopefully you haven't had the same encounters with them since!

KGW said...

Hey SITSTA! LOL! Funny post!

Jacie said...

Ok somebody needs to have a talk with the Food Nazi couple at your church because I'm sure you are not the only one who has had the horrible experience of encountering them. They are likely chasing away people instead of inviting them to attend or join.

Eudea-Mamia said...

Try dealing with these people when you have two children on medically restrictive diets - I won't let my children "be children." Shame on me.

Hand-crushed Oreos - I'm with jewelstreet - ewwwwwwwwwww!

Em

namaste said...

wow! you are amazing.... such restraint! at least you only have to deal with them every once in awhile??? I hope???

lmerie said...

Hmmmm, I bet Nazi's cousin goes to my church . . .I have met her and avoid her! :)

Oh, and I don't remember the last time I ate an oreo

Finding Normal said...

What is it with nightmare VBS experiences? Mine aren't old enough yet, but I'm not sure I want them involved in it since everyone's experiences involve some form of PSYCHO!
Hand-crushed Oreos are a delicacy, after all!

jubilee said...

"Food Nazis!" Ha! Can you imagine what meal time is like at THEIR house? I mean, yikes.

I admit to being a bit territorial when it comes to my own food, but sheesh, this takes the cake. Or the Oreo crumbs, as the case may be.

Momma Chae said...

:) Awesome. I've totally been in your place. I was volunteering at VBS one year and got in trouble by my co-teacher (little old lady) in the 3-year-old room for not laying down and taking a nap with the kids during nap time. I literally had to lay down on the floor... Some people let the "power" get to their heads.

Blue Castle said...

Oh my word! I can't believe people would act like this. Wow.

Heather said...

Hi, my name is Heather and I don't eat Oreos too! :) Well, not in public anyway. I do loooove Oreos and will eat them in the safety of my own home, where I can run upstairs and brush/floss my teeth as needed when I'm done. Yep, I hate the oreo detritus that is left in people's teeth (especially my own) too!

Now, the hand-crushed oreos on top of the ice cream? Hmmm, that'd be a tough call. I'd have to go with the oreo-free ice cream, too I think!

Cheers!

Brandy said...

Beware there are Nazi's everywhere. We have a few in our booster group and they drive me CRAZY!

For heaven's sake I know how to make coffee. Now. Back. The. Hell. Off. ~sorry that hostility was leftover from Saturday~

Cassandra said...

Nazis are a seriously scary breed...especially when there is food involved...

Scrappinfor3 said...

Holy CRAP! Sounds like a case of the "I need to control everythings" going on there! I call myself a "food Nazi" for entirely different reasons. . .usually because I can't eat a lot of things due to sensitivities & therefore prefer my kids not to eat them either. I try to go above & beyond NOT to inconvenience anyone else. . .but I've had people take offense as well. It's like PEOPLE! Please! It's not a big deal. . .just ignore me. I bring my own water. But you would be surprised the people who make comments like, "Jeez, I guess OUR water isn't good enough for them!" My Grandmother in law doesn't think taco dip qualifies as an appetizer. . .so tells me I CAN'T bring it to family functions if I offer. Now I just don't ask. . .I just bring. I'm a rebel. POWER to the PEOPLE! FREEDOM to the FOOD! TEE HEE!

mrsmouthy said...

It sounds awful, how you were treated. But now I know how my son feels when he asks for a glass of milk and I tell him, for various reasons, that he can have one in five minutes. No wonder he has so many tantrums!

jori-o said...

Ugh! That is so irritating! I hate when people with an itsy-bit of "power" use it to control everything they can. A drink!! Are you forreal??!

kallay said...

lol!!! i so would have said something to him. that's just me though... church or not, that's just rude. i'm pretty sure jesus wouldn't have made you wait for a drink. just saying...

Heather said...

Oh my gosh! I can't believe someone would talk to another adult like that.

Katie said...

I've been involved in ministry for years, and I'm still amazed when people act this way. I don't understand why people aren't more gracious--though, I'm not perfect either! Ugh!

Diamond said...

You showed incredible restraint, for sure. They would have booted me out! Happy SITS day:-D.

Avery Tales said...

Wow..Some people! Don't get me wrong, I love my church, I love my faith, but sometimes the people scare me. I once tried to use some paper plates from the church kitchen to use for a children's department project and you would have thought that I was stealing from the offering plate. Seriously, a lady yelled at me for taking like 5 paper plates for the KIDS!!

Cheryl Ann said...

Crazy FN's!! You're nicer than I am...

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Diamond is right...restraint isn't even the word...Grace Under Pressure is more like it. I would have gone OFF like a warhead!

And I never thought I'd find another mom out there who hated Oreos as much as I did and for the same exact reasons! AMEN!

Nina said...

That is awful... I would have been thinking am I a child because I should be allowed to have a drink when ever I choose. Good luck with VBS next year.

ZenMom said...

I'm sorry, I couldn't get past "I don't eat oreos." Are you sure you are an American? :D

Seriously, some people are waaaaay too uptight about "stuff", eh? My first reaction to people like that is usually annoyance. But it quickly turns to amusement, most of the time. I mean, what, exactly are they trying to accomplish?

World domination - one picnic at a time.

Felicia Eis said...

Goodness that is crazy :P

justjuli said...

Some people take their responsibilities far too seriously!

Especially in youth ministry where the key word is: "flexibility"

Happy SITS day!

Vickie said...

So many names, I can't say out loud are coming up.....We had some lady at our church like that and she ran the religous education. She gave 'tudes to the student's parents. She no longers works there, thank goodness.

katie said...

You should definitely try my church, people are WAY nicer:)

Brooke said...

Holy Moley. I guess it runs in the family. Sheesh people!

Teryn said...

Really? I thought it was fairly common to actually OFFER your guests a drink. My goodness- that is the epitome of "holier-than-thou" syndrome if I've ever heard it. Take a chill pill people! I agree with Brenda. Maybe #1 is trying to starve herself thin and was just wishing she had those oreos for herself.

MammaDucky said...

I think I know those people! Ok, maybe, unfortunately, there are lots of people that way. I just love how those people act all high and mighty. Makes ya just want to push them right out of their ivory tower eh?

Karol said...

WOW. People never cease to amaze me! I would've let the oreo nazi slide. But the drink nazi would've heard an earful!

Marrdy said...

People can be so loving and caring can't they? Guess they forgot about that thing Jesus said, to love your neighbor. Oops!

Live.Love.Eat said...

Some people just have issues, no matter where you are!

littleeverydaythings said...

Offering your guests drinks is the first thing folks should be doing at an outdoor event. That's just crazy!

Kristy said...

food nazis' are the worst! i hope next year isnt that bad!

The Boss Lady said...

Hmmm...food nazis. I don't know any of those. I do know a word nazi though. In fact, I gave birth to him, and Heaven forbid I say "stupid" or "freaking" or "crap" at the age of 31 years old, because he's right there to correct me. Little demon. (Said lovingly, of course).

angie said...

This post has got me all riled up. I can't wait until an idiot has the nerve to talk to me now. Seriously, I can never think of any good comebacks for these types of people.

Megan said...

OMGosh! Yeah, I think I'd be beyond peeved! Good control you got there! ;0)

Tiffany said...

Oh wow. Those two belong together, huh? I wonder how they ever get a meal on the table though, with each watching the other like a hawk... :-)

Joye said...

Wow! This had me shaking my head. You weren't too saucy to those food crazies! I couldn't have held my tongue. Your blog is so cute and funny :)

Becky :) said...

Ok, I'm just wondering what people skills FN #1 and #2 took. It's obvious they are married. Do they have children?? That's scary.
Ok, I'm done. Church is about fellowship and bonding but they sure aren't making it very fun. Unfortunately those are the types of people that always scare me away from church.

Congrats on your SITS day!!

Carrie said...

Well, at least the Food Nazis aren't your ministers, right? Happy SITS day!

Noah's Mommy said...

Lord....can you imagine what it's like in their house...I can just imagine what dinner time is like....

meg said...

Yep, sounds like a personality defect (their's, not your's!)- some folks have to micro-manage every. little. thing. *sigh*

kimmers said...

Oh that is just too much - I think I would have told them where to shove those drinks. And for that matter, the oreos too. :)

Congrats on your SITS day!

Emily said...

I hate stupid people. So annoying!

ElleBee said...

Oh my...sounds like some people take their positions of a authority a bit seriously! Happy SITS Day!

Blicky Kitty said...

How bizarre. I thought this was a childhood memory and I missed it because nobody would be that rude to another adult! :)

I love your blog. Your header is GORGEOUS so fun and joyful!

Happy SITS day!

greedygrace said...

OK, I can totally relate to the Oreo story! I don't like them, either! What's with the stuff in the middle? Who wants to a pile of sweetened lard? YUCK!

Congrats on your SITS feature!

EmmaP said...

Ohhhh! So That's where they moved to! hahaha! I wondered where the Food Nazi's moved to after they left MY church! hahaha!

Michelle said...

I don't get those people, either. And actually... the thought of someone crushing the Oreos with their hands absolutely grosses me out. YUCK!

But I see it as their failings, not mine ;)

Robyn said...

It's ok - we all need our 12 Step Programs. (My 14 year old needs one for eating too many Oreo's! A package a week. Nope she's not fat - she's an athlete with a great metabolism.)
As I was reading, I thought, "What!!!????" That is crazy. Good luck next year!

Man and Kat said...

I'm sorry the food Nazis' attacked you, but I was laughing during this post. I really enjoy your blog!!

Christina said...

(rollin eyes) Some people and control issues! Visiting from SITS!great post LOL

Anna Lefler said...

Good heavens! Do they hold this event in prison? Sheesh!

"Oh, warden! A glass of water here, please!"

;^) Anna

Leiann said...

I have to tell you that I was trying really hard not to laugh and wake up my sleeping family!! I just don't understand some people!

mrsbear said...

Seriously? That's just bananas. They're crushed Oreos for goodness sakes, last I checked the US was not having a cookie crisis or Oreo shortage. And why do they think they can tell another adult when to have a drink? I mean as long as you're not chugging vodka at lunch, a little water is okay.

Paige said...

I find this fascinating as I am being terrorized by a church lady at my work who wants to run my life in similar ways.

Really people, put all that control freak-i-ness into something that MATTERS

like your attitude

Shannon said...

What is it with the FN couple and their issues?!??!? Sheesh!

Laural Out Loud said...

Oh, man, you were WAY to lenient with them. I would've said something both times, and probably revealed myself as a rude yank, but they need to be put in their place. At least you gave the guy a disgusted look!

dddiva said...

Wow, some people have some nerve- sad they were through the church where you'd think they'd know better.

Mama Kat said...

Power tripping much?? That's just ridiculous. Have you thought about filing a complaint??

spleeness said...

This was hilarious. Read like a confession at a non-oreo-eaters anonymous or something. "Hi, my name is Heather and I do not eat oreos."

ha!

Rachael said...

I totally cracked up and got a funny look from my husband at the 'we crushed those with our hands' comment. What the heck? First off, it could not have been that hard. Secondly, you made those for KIDS at VBS! Shouldn't you be in a GOOD mood?

Dee from Downunder said...

Hi came over via SITs (yeah, late, sorry!)

I had to laugh at the oreo episode, when she said they crushed them with their hands, you should have asked if she used gloves...