My Husband, My Friend

Mr. Wonderful is an absolute saint. We had the discussion a few weeks ago, around our anniversary, that after 5 years of marriage, we still are not tired of being around each other. We still look forward to coming home every night and getting to see the other, talk to the other, hug the other. But today my heart is breaking. It is temporary, but, nonetheless, it is breaking. Mr. Wonderful left today for five days. He has gone on another work trip to Boca. Now I know that he was looking forward to it. He has not stopped talking about this steak house that he and Justin ate at every day three years ago when they were there for two weeks. He even booked their hotel directly across the street from the steak house, so they could take full advantage of it. But for some reason, this trip is affecting me more than the others did. I have been absolutely sobbing all morning long. I caused everyone else to cry this morning during the goodbyes. I have been a baby today. This is the first trip he has been on since I have been working. That means, that I still have to get up and go to work, but have to get all three kids ready for school, get them to my sister to be dropped off, get them all picked up, dropped off the places that they need to go in the evenings, go to school myself, supper cooked, kids bathed, etc. But that is not even what I am worried about. He kept saying, "I'll be back. I promise." But he can't promise that. I have allowed worry that something will happen to him to compromise my rationality. I allow thoughts to creep into my head of the phone call that I would receive if something happened to him. And thoughts of what life would be like, how miserable I would be, if he did not return. I know that God is protecting him. I know this. I know this. But he is the person that I think of first when I need to tell something to--like when these idiots at school do something stupid. I need to talk to him every night. Not only to know that he is okay, but because he is my best friend and I absolutely cannot, will not, go a day without hearing his voice.

Oh the pain!

I spent most of the day in pain. I was at school this morning, doing my normal stuff, and I got sick. I ran to the bathroom only to have a horrible bout of "the runs." But upon leaving the bathroom, I started having horrible stomach pain and was nauseated and very close to passing out. Out SRO escorted me to the teacher's lounge to wait on the nurse. After about 30 minutes of unrelenting pain, she called my doctor who told me to go to the emergency room. Mr. Wonderful came and got me and took me to the ER. The dr. there told me that he really wasn't sure whether it was a stomach virus or the early onset of gastrointeritis (sp?) or a case of constipation. He treated me for the latter of the three. Since being home, I have had several bouts with ye olde toilette, and have had severe stomach cramping. I took a short nap, but was worried I would oversleep and miss picking up Ryan before he gets on the bus.

On another note: I received a shocking email last night. It was requesting my help in planning the wedding reception of my best friend who got married yesterday. Without telling her best friend. Without even so much as a hint. I obviously would not have been able to be there because of school, but that was not the way that I wanted this to happen. She has been dating this professor for, I guess, a year or more. I guess the most shocking thing was hearing it from her sister. But, Geeg called me last night and I talked to her and expressed that I was happy for her, but was really quite angry that she did not tell me. I guess it really was not anger so much as hurt. Deeply hurt. She was the MOH at my wedding. Anyway, she explained to me that no one really was told except her immediate family and his parents. They did not even tell his siblings. So I guess that I am not hurt anymore.

The death of me

The Georgia Bulldogs are going to be the death of me. I love me some Dawgs. But the stress. I. can't. handle. the. stress. They always do this to me. They make a close game out of something that never should have been. The Sucky Carolina Gamecocks. I mean--come on. The QB's name is Smelley and the PK is Succup. They deserve to lose. But the Dawgs made it a close one. A highly superior defense fell apart in the second half and a highly superior offense struggled to find its stride in the first. Let me tell you why they are killing me. My blood pressure rises to a level where my head is pounding. I have to leave the room to regain consciousness or at least to avoid losing it. I think I am going to develop an aneurysm from this unhealthy rise in my blood pressure. But they won..and after all, that is what matters!! 3-0, baby. 3-0! So what if I am lying on the couch, bleeding internally. The Dawgs are winning!

We had a good day at my niece's birthday party. She had it at Pump It Up. I don't know if this is a chain or an individual place, but if you don't know what it is, it is so cool. They have two different play areas that are rented out for birthday parties. They have inflatable obstacle courses, a huge inflatable slide, a bouncy basketball court, and a round bouncy thing. It is a two- hour party. The kids (and some adults) play for about 1 1/2 hours, then you go to the party room where they serve the food and cake. It costs about $275 but there is no setup, no cleanup, they supply everything but the cake, and the kids are entertained outside of your house for 2 hours. This is definitely a consideration for Bro Man's party b/c it is in January and it ALWAYS rains on his party day. ALWAYS!

Well, the girls are spending the night with my parents and I have been awake since 3:30, so I think I am going to get some shut eye--while I can. Tomorrow I have to do lesson plans and read two articles in my textbook. You think I would take advantage of the girls being gone and get some of that done now--but nope. I am a procrastinator, and it would give procrastinators everywhere a bad name. And I can't take that kind of pressure. Just knowing that procrastinators everywhere would be blaming me...even thinking about it makes me break out in hives!!

Never Forget

Today is a day in history that I will never forget. I, along with my co-workers, had just arrived at work. My boss came in to tell us that the first tower had been hit. We were shocked and amazed. Then he came back a few minutes later to tell us that the second tower had been hit. It was then that we realized that this was not a chance accident. We did not know at the time that it was a terror attack. All we knew was what the news was speculating, and that was that the planes had been hijacked. My boss pulled a tv into the conference room, and the rest of the day, we spent huddled around the television. He did not complain that we were not working. I think he just knew. We all felt violated and scared and nauseated. How big was this attack going to be? Then the Pentagon. Then the fourth plane. Would this ever stop??? I think this fear was as great as the serial snipers from a few years back.


Onto another note, I had three students yelling at one another in class today. I told them to go out and got accused of being a racist because I did not send any white students into the hallway. OK, but the three students weren't white and the white ones weren't in the disagreement. I am so fair that it is not even funny. I have a feeling that this one will lead to a mama visit. Oh well. I did nothing wrong. I know that. The students know that. And so does the girl that called me a racist and then told the principals that I was being racist.

Tidbits

All of the kids stayed home from school Friday with Daddy. Coach Nick came and laid the new carpet, but didn't do it in the hallway. I was very disappointed to still have green carpet in the house, but the living room looks awesome. Mr. Wonderful told me that the hardwoods underneath the carpet in the living room were in great condition. So Friday afternoon and night, I pulled up the hallway carpet, pad, tack strips, staples, etc. It looks so awesome, though. The living room looks so much bigger now. We got rid of the huge light wood entertainment center and got a highboy entertainment center that is considerably smaller, but matches so well. I will post pics soon.

I found a super large mirror on clearance the other day for $25. It is a shabby chic kind of off white, so it will either adorn the wall in my bedroom or in the hallway. (I vote for the hallway.) With the way it would be positioned in the hallway, we can lay in our bed and see Baby K laying in hers.

A very sweet thing transpired Friday while I was working. The girls were laying in our bed watching a movie when Emily came out with a shocked, tear-filled look. Bless her heart. She had watched Baby K fall asleep and thought that she had died right there before her. Baby K falls asleep so fast. Emily was traumatized by her baby sister's apparent death. That brought tears to my eyes.

Oh, I had the most wonderful day with Baby K. We just have not had much time together since I started working. Yesterday, the girls and I spent the day together ( a very unpleasant one) despite it being my anniversary. Today, the whole family spent the day together. Baby K and I went our way and Mr. Wonderful took Emmy and Bro Man with him. Baby K and I laughed more today than we have in the last month. I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. She is soooo funny.

We spent a small fortune at Wally World today. It was unintentional, but we did it. Ryan picked an off-brand Wii type game that was clearly marked $29.98 on the shelf. Mr. Wonderful let the girls pick a $25 slip 'n slide. He got a gas grill (hurricane possibility). We got an invisible fence system to keep Jack-bo in the yard. We got a few groceries and some batteries. Mr. W paid for their three things while I got the few groceries. Then Baby K and I paid for the other stuff. Ours totaled $235 dollars. He told me that his totaled $254, which is more than $60 of an overcharge. I looked at his receipt and Bro Man's game system was $80--needless to say, it and the slip 'n slide went back. $114 for those two things. Still spent too much money, but the grill is something that we use religiously and the invisible fence is for the safety of Jack and the neighborhood. (He bit a hole in Mr. W's brother's shorts yesterday). But in Jack's defense, he views baseball caps as threatening. Once Kyle took his hat off, Jack stopped attacking him. I think he is just defending his family, but Mom thinks he is dangerous. He gets after people all the time, but as long as they stand their ground he backs down. If they run, it is on like a chicken bone.

Just curious if anyone has used the PediPaws pet filing thingee that I have seen advertised on tv. Please let me know if this works before my dog punctures an artery and I bleed to death. His claws are so sharp right now.

Well, enough for tonight. I am going to be a better steward of time--and make more time for my family. Hopefully, I can go back to blogging and commenting soon. Just have to get adjusted to this whole new schedule.

Monday

Monday was the anniversary of the day that my life changed. Seven years ago to the day, I left the horrible relationship that I was in, and started my life over. I remember it vividly. My sister and dad showed up to my house that Saturday morning, and we had everything packed and moved out within about three hours. This was no easy task with a one year old under foot, but we did it nonetheless. It wasn't pretty, but it was done. We threw clothes, blankets, shoes, and anything else that would fit into a sheet we had spread on the floor. We folded up the corners, tied them, and moved on to the next one. We used suitcases to pack up dishes, pictures, knick-knacks, and anything else we could cram into them. It was a very emotional day. I wasn't just leaving someone that I had spent the last four years loving, the father of my son. I was leaving his children, as well. I was leaving my best friend who lived across the road. We loaded up my dad's work truck, my sister's car, my car and we headed off to my parents, where Bro Man and I would spend the next year.

My sisters, not wanting me to sit home feeling sorry for myself, invited me to a dinner they were having about twenty miles away. So completely swollen eyed from crying, I headed off to Twin #2's and Leigh's. Mom and Dad kept Bro Man for me. Oh, how heartbroken I was. I felt like the most horrible failure imaginable. Why couldn't I make that relationship work? How could I love someone so totally and completely and hate them so much at the same time? How do you still love someone when they obviously hate you so much?

After an afternoon full of prayers, I headed to a dreaded dinner. It wasn't that I didn't want to be around my sisters (and I am eternally grateful to them for this), I just did not want to be around anyone. I wanted to lay in my bed and cry and wallow in self-pity--exactly the things that my sisters did not want me doing. I prayed that God would harden my heart towards BD.

That night with my sisters is unforgettable. It was Twin #2 and her husband, Leigh and Twin 2's cousin-in-law. Now, CIL was cute, but they really were trying to fix him up with Leigh. And I so totally was not interested in meeting a man.

In October of that year, I began dating the brother of my best friend. Things got way too serious way too fast, and in three weeks, he was talking about marriage. He was really good to me. Really, really good to me. We continued to date for a couple of months. My whole family loved this guy and if my parents could choose someone for me to this day, I think it would be him. He loved my family just as much and wanted nothing more than to be around them. For the first time in his life since his divorce, he was a good dad. He called his girls every single night to talk to them. He paid his child support religiously. But I could not get over BD. And he understood that and still wanted to marry me. I just was not ready.

In November, Twin 2 called to tell me that CIL wanted to go out with me. Well, because of best friend's brother, I told her no. But my curiosity was peaked. I went to watch him and my BIL play in an old-timers football game for their high school. I broke it off with Best Friend's Brother just a few short weeks later. It was not until New Year's Eve that I went out with CIL. And I never looked back. Early September of the next year, I told him that I didn't know if I would ever be ready to be married. He told me that the trip that he had planned for my birthday was to propose. I was shocked. I didn't know what to say or what to do. It was about thirty seconds later that realized I could not imagine my life without him. I could not wait for the day that I could marry him. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this magnificent creature. For Christmas that year, I got my ring. And this weekend, after the addition of two more children, we celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary. I still cannot imagine my life without this man. I love him beyond belief. He is my strength, my sanity, my everything. Without him, I would be nothing.

Crazy Tired

I am thoroughly exhausted this morning. Last night we had some pretty rough weather due to the tropical storm. It was barely raining at my house, so I ventured out to return some shoes I had bought for Hubby. Two miles down the road at the store, the rain and the wind were so bad, I felt like that hot, bald guy (wow, I never thought I would say those two words at the same time) named Jim on the Weather Channel when he stands on the beach while a hurricane makes landfall. The wind was so strong that I could barely walk. An umbrella was useless. Completely soaked, I did not even attempt to use my umbrella on the way out, fearing I might turn into Mary Poppins. I got home soaked to the bone to barely a drizzle. Two miles can make all the difference.

But on a good note, we had some yummy chili last night. It was just the right kind of day and night to curl up in the bed and take a nap (which I did) and to eat chili. If only I would have had some Georgia football to go with it. One more week and counting. That ought to get me through the week.

And good news, I finally got to turn in my new hire paperwork. The lady at the BOE was nice enough to grant me an August paycheck even though the cutoff date had passed for August pay. So now, maybe seeing some money will keep me motivated as well.

I am so procrastinating right now. I am so sleepy, so I am trying my hardest not to do lesson plans and homework. I also have to create a Jeopardy game as a study guide. I even cooked pancakes this morning to avoid the things I don't want to do.